Saturday, May 30, 2009
Should I or should I not ?
Sometimes it's better to be nonchalant about everything right?
I think I should just forget about it.
how empty do I feel now?
10/ 10 !
Sometimes it's better to be nonchalant about everything right?
I think I should just forget about it.
how empty do I feel now?
10/ 10 !
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Am i the last resort or the last one to pop up in everybody's mind ?
And why do i feel so awkward looking at someone I knew so well last time ?
And why do i feel so awkward looking at someone I knew so well last time ?
Sunday, May 24, 2009
yucks yucks yucks yucks yucks yucks
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Oh - I don't want to care anymore
You want to reply just reply
Don't want , then just leave it .
You want to reply just reply
Don't want , then just leave it .
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Neglected
But i don't really care manz .
Sunday, May 17, 2009
I want to be happier
I don't think he 's the one anymore. The feeling had faded, he did not treat me as someone to him anymore. I can feel it and my gut instinct was telling me he had many other girls.
I do not know how long I can hold on to this but I really needed a rest for myself.
Why must I be the one hugging the cell waiting for a one word message.
Indeed it felt good to see his name flashing there was a message
but in the next second you read the text, it's always less than 5 words.
We have not even met , and ultimately i do not think that I would have the courage to meet you. You are a good looker , successful and even excel in your leisure and studies. I am just a very normal girl with a small circle of friends, no talents at all and just a typical normal person.
The smileys are fake. I don't even feel happy at all .
and your smiley are fake too .
You are using the same excuses as him, using your career and studies to cover up all your excuses to not contact me .
You said that you were different .
But you are not even .
I just feel ..... nonexistent .
That 's the perfect word
I do not know how long I can hold on to this but I really needed a rest for myself.
Why must I be the one hugging the cell waiting for a one word message.
Indeed it felt good to see his name flashing there was a message
but in the next second you read the text, it's always less than 5 words.
We have not even met , and ultimately i do not think that I would have the courage to meet you. You are a good looker , successful and even excel in your leisure and studies. I am just a very normal girl with a small circle of friends, no talents at all and just a typical normal person.
The smileys are fake. I don't even feel happy at all .
and your smiley are fake too .
You are using the same excuses as him, using your career and studies to cover up all your excuses to not contact me .
You said that you were different .
But you are not even .
I just feel ..... nonexistent .
That 's the perfect word
Saturday, May 16, 2009
A week had past , yet so many things undone.
My body is aching like mad. 2.4 km with B. , gym with y.p and R. School's facilities was awesome, at least better than those at Yishun Stadium. :)
Caught Angels and Demons with R. and A. [ It was my first time hanging out with them]
I was wondering if you are real to me.The feeling had faded a little. Receiving your messages seemed like a routine, waiting for your text seemed like a chore. Entertaining you seemed so systematic. Yes , I love you and still hoping that you are different from them.
My body is aching like mad. 2.4 km with B. , gym with y.p and R. School's facilities was awesome, at least better than those at Yishun Stadium. :)
Caught Angels and Demons with R. and A. [ It was my first time hanging out with them]
I was wondering if you are real to me.The feeling had faded a little. Receiving your messages seemed like a routine, waiting for your text seemed like a chore. Entertaining you seemed so systematic. Yes , I love you and still hoping that you are different from them.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Excuses , fucking excuses. So sick of it .
I think i will just need to leave you alone.
Why must I always be there for you , and when I need you
You will never be there for me
who are my friends? I am beginning to wonder.
Fuck it
I think i will just need to leave you alone.
Why must I always be there for you , and when I need you
You will never be there for me
who are my friends? I am beginning to wonder.
Fuck it
Sunday, May 10, 2009
mr. you
We were on the mattress lay on the floor watching DVD . It's been a month since we met, I think as far as I could remember. Things went on like usual, we kept talking about the movie and stuff and blah blah blah. Okay I would not want to continue already.
Will be seeing him next week again , I think .
Will be seeing him next week again , I think .
Saturday, May 9, 2009
昨天是恋人，明天说分手就手
Emotions filled. Had my emotions and anger leashed out to my dearest friend. We had so much in common, one - our star sign , two- our perception of life and third- people taking us for granted. It was hours and hours of alone time with her, we were taking about everything under the moon. I feel so comfortable confessing my life to her. She listened patiently and gave me full support and encouragement. And that was all I needed for that night.
I talked to her about him , him and him. and many him(s)
Should i pursue him again? Or should I just move on.
I'm getting so tired over all sorts of things.
Especially you
I talked to her about him , him and him. and many him(s)
Should i pursue him again? Or should I just move on.
I'm getting so tired over all sorts of things.
Especially you
Thursday, May 7, 2009
突然好想你
我没有被真正的爱过。
也没有真正的谈一场轰轰烈烈的爱情。
心痛比被疼爱熟悉。
我讨厌自己因为爱而忘了自己
Ha, nonsense.
也没有真正的谈一场轰轰烈烈的爱情。
心痛比被疼爱熟悉。
我讨厌自己因为爱而忘了自己
Ha, nonsense.
Slept for almost half of the day. Hugging my pillow, bearing the pain without much distraction. The pain was unbearable, but everything became just fine after I slept in a certain position.
My mind was almost empty. I woke up at 1a.m to check my phone. Never did I realized, I'm still significant to some. To you :)
My mind was almost empty. I woke up at 1a.m to check my phone. Never did I realized, I'm still significant to some. To you :)
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
i felt the vibration from my bed, it was my phone and i had a message but it was something i wanted to read at all. The content was too direct and hurting in a sense.
I do not know how i am going to cope with this inner feeling/ emotions I'm struggling with now. I'm hoping for something that would make me better now. With the additional physical pain i am tormenting with now, now i don't need a reason to cry. It's so pain. I needed someone now but in the end I would just give that person very bad attitude or even stayed monotonous. I don't think anybody should be treated like this and had their day screwed with my inner emotions and tantrums.
I know i had been scaring people away with the real me. Or maybe it was not me at all.
I used to be happier, but i found no reason to be happy now. Life is so meaningless. I'm losing things one by one from my side for no apparent reason or maybe there were reasons but I was kept in the dark.
My tears just kept flowing and I do not even want anybody to see the state I'm now.
I want to escape , I feel like dying
I do not know how i am going to cope with this inner feeling/ emotions I'm struggling with now. I'm hoping for something that would make me better now. With the additional physical pain i am tormenting with now, now i don't need a reason to cry. It's so pain. I needed someone now but in the end I would just give that person very bad attitude or even stayed monotonous. I don't think anybody should be treated like this and had their day screwed with my inner emotions and tantrums.
I know i had been scaring people away with the real me. Or maybe it was not me at all.
I used to be happier, but i found no reason to be happy now. Life is so meaningless. I'm losing things one by one from my side for no apparent reason or maybe there were reasons but I was kept in the dark.
My tears just kept flowing and I do not even want anybody to see the state I'm now.
I want to escape , I feel like dying
Hopefully , nobody will find out this page
I was truly fascinated by the arty skins blogskins.com offers and wanted some personal space to pen down my personal life.
Things had not been going smoothly for me. Be it school, family , friendship or love life. Changes were inevitable and it turned out to be kind of obvious to some of my close friends. The current economic situation had kind of turned my life upside down, I was not able to indulge without worrying about the pathetic penny i had left. Swine flu had caught the world to be more health conscious and more wary about the surroundings. Bad news came in one at a time and had made me wondered what would happen next.
I was terribly upset by some humans. Especially the masculine. They just turned me off by the way they behaves, their perception of life and their hunger for women( not winning their hearts for true love but winning hearts to satisfy their sexual needs). Sometimes, I just wish that I was not expose to all this dirty things in the world, I would not say I hate men. I adore men and their physique and definitely guys with that charisma. But in real life , they are not even what the media had portrayed them to be, the lovely guys that would sacrifice so much for love or maybe it had not happened to me yet. The guys i had met are all up to the same thing.
It just pissed me off more.
Things had not been going smoothly for me. Be it school, family , friendship or love life. Changes were inevitable and it turned out to be kind of obvious to some of my close friends. The current economic situation had kind of turned my life upside down, I was not able to indulge without worrying about the pathetic penny i had left. Swine flu had caught the world to be more health conscious and more wary about the surroundings. Bad news came in one at a time and had made me wondered what would happen next.
I was terribly upset by some humans. Especially the masculine. They just turned me off by the way they behaves, their perception of life and their hunger for women( not winning their hearts for true love but winning hearts to satisfy their sexual needs). Sometimes, I just wish that I was not expose to all this dirty things in the world, I would not say I hate men. I adore men and their physique and definitely guys with that charisma. But in real life , they are not even what the media had portrayed them to be, the lovely guys that would sacrifice so much for love or maybe it had not happened to me yet. The guys i had met are all up to the same thing.
It just pissed me off more.