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DingLi,19

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

i felt the vibration from my bed, it was my phone and i had a message but it was something i wanted to read at all. The content was too direct and hurting in a sense.

I do not know how i am going to cope with this inner feeling/ emotions I'm struggling with now. I'm hoping for something that would make me better now. With the additional physical pain i am tormenting with now, now i don't need a reason to cry. It's so pain. I needed someone now but in the end I would just give that person very bad attitude or even stayed monotonous. I don't think anybody should be treated like this and had their day screwed with my inner emotions and tantrums.

I know i had been scaring people away with the real me. Or maybe it was not me at all.

I used to be happier, but i found no reason to be happy now. Life is so meaningless. I'm losing things one by one from my side for no apparent reason or maybe there were reasons but I was kept in the dark.

My tears just kept flowing and I do not even want anybody to see the state I'm now.
I want to escape , I feel like dying